Friday, May 11, 2012

5 Things You Might Not Know About Your Mother

1.  your mom is a financial analyst.  She assesses your boyfriend's ability to earn income, sustain financial growth, pay obligations, and maintain cash flow just by looking at his car.

2.  your mom is a detective.  She knows wherever you are at any point in time.  What she does is triangulate your position using your cellular phone.  You may even have a homing device hidden in your Jimmy Choo's.  Check them out.

3.  your mom is a direct descendant of Pythia from the Oracle at Delphi.  She knows beforehand that you'll ask permission for a date.  She even knew if you were in a date before and never told her.  She's got this new crystal ball - Facebook.

4.  your mom has been exposed to gamma rays.  "Don't make her angry.  You wouldn't like her when she's angry."  She might turn green and that's so not her color.

5.  your mom is an alien.  How else could you explain your feeling of her presence even if she's not around?  It's like she's watching you all the time.  Ok, throw that cigarette and put down that beer.  You don't want to be beamed out of your date, do you?

Oh yeah!  There's one more thing.  Your mom is a source of infinite and unconditional love. Why else would she be there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?  She's just awesome!


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