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Sunday, May 13, 2012

5 More Things You Might Not Know About Your Mother


"Know thyself."  It's important also to know the people you love.  Let's start with mom.  Know thy mom! I bet there are a lot of things you do not know about your mom.  Let me help you.  Here are "5 More Things You Might Not Know About Your Mother":

1.  your mom invented a time machine.  She bends the time-space continuum so she could go back in time and retrieve complete information on how you screwed up with you last boyfriend, and then slip into the future so she can tell you to break up with your current boyfriend because he's gay.

2.  your mom is a predator.  She will annihilate all alien-looking suitors of yours.  She thinks that none of them is good enough for her precious perfect daughter.

3.  your mom is a mathematician.  She can actually do differential equations but prefers to practice her simple arithmetic.  She postulates that:
     daughter - current boyfriend = good
     daughter + college degree = better
     daughter + husband approved by mom = the BEST!

4.  your mom is a computer programmer.  From the day you were born until the age of 7, she has programmed your ways and thinking.  As a matter of fact, she  implanted a chip in your pituitary gland that's impossible to override.  Some of the program codes in the chip are as follows:
     IF boyfriend tries to sleep with daughter THEN
          slap boyfriend hard on the face and immediately call mom.
     IF boyfriend hurts daughter in any way THEN
         slap boyfriend hard on the face and immediately call mom.

5.  your mom is a fashion guru.  Aside from teaching you how to perfectly match the color and fabric of your skirt with your top, she also taught you that the worst accessory you could ever wear on your arm until the age 21 is a boyfriend.

Tell your mom you love her.  It is the least you can do if you think about all her sacrifices and hardships for you.  We only have one mother in this world.  Aren't you glad you got the best?

By the way, I created original postcards based on this post that you can give your mom.  You can print, email. twit or facebook the postcards.  Enjoy!

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