Sunday, July 15, 2012

To Blow or Not to Blow?... Your Steam Off.

I rarely get mad, and when I do, I summon all the angels in heaven to stop me from spontaneously combusting, so as to avert the release of tremendous radiation that could destroy an entire city!   No, I am not a character from "Heroes" nor "Supernatural", but a simple human being stretched to the limit!

Some materials quickly regain their original shape after being deformed, of course by a force.  This demonstrates what we know in Physics as Hooke's Law, that the length of extension of a spring is directly proportional to the force applied to it.  In simple terms, the strain is directly proportional to stress.  This is true however, only within the material's elastic limitONCE THE LIMIT IS REACHED, the material is DEFORMED FOREVER.  This, I think applies to humans!  We can only tolerate some things up to a certain point.  We do sometimes reach our "elastic" limit!  What should we do then when we reach this critical point?

We explode to smithereens!  Just kidding.  We all have ways of dealing with anger, madness even.  They depend however, on how we were brought up, and of course our belief systems.  There's probably nothing much I can say (or do) that could change those.  Just in case however, let me try anyway…

I'll try with comparing two letters - antithetical responses to a particular scenario.

Here is our imaginary situation:  a consultant is asked by Company ABC to submit a proposal about reengineering a nearly entropic computer system.  The consultant asked questions to the project manager of the computer system.  The consultant found out that the main reason why the computer system is in such a dire state is because of the lack of technical skills of the project manager.   There was no project plan, no documentation of the analysis of the user requirements, nor any design description whatsoever.  The programmers coded the computer system straight from the client's requirements with hits and misses.  It's like the stone age of software implementation.  After a series of emails, the proposal was made.  Later on, the consultant's proposal was rejected because the proposed cost is said to be too high for the company.  In short, several important hours were put to waste.  If you were the consultant what would you say in response to the rejected proposal if you knew that the real reason for the proposal being rejected is due to the machination of the project manager who is threatened of being found out as a fraud?

Here is one possible response.  The idea is to let it all out.  You cannot keep all your emotions inside you.  It's bad for your health.  You could become infertile.  Just kidding, but here is one truthful and very possible reaction to our scenario (although I would not recommend this as it takes so much energy and quite hurtful):

Dear Mr. Retarded Dipshit Project Manager,

You are such a worthless bag of crap!  You do not know what constitute a project plan, and yet you call yourself a project manager?!  What the fuck?

You have miserably managed projects!  Oh, yeah, you were quite successful in one thing.   You have successfully "managed" to drag down the reputation of your company deeper than the devil's realm in hell.  Do you think you could hide your stupidity and ineptitude forever?

Your technical skills are comparable to a parrot's.  Go figure!  "Go figure!"  Oh, is that the parrot talking?  Repeating what you have heard from members of your team without giving a tiny rat's ass of what it's about?

After reading your email response to my queries, I just want to gouge the eyes of flies from some horse's shit, fry them, and then eat them.  To do this is a million times easier compared to reading your dumb messages.   After you fuck yourself, immediately submit your resignation, asshole!  Please… pretty, please?

Truthfully yours,

P.S.  A supernova is a stellar explosion that is extremely luminous and causes a burst of radiation that outshines an entire galaxy.  Mr. Retarded Dipshit Project Manager, you should be in the Guiness Book of World Records!  The radiation brought about by the explosion could not penetrate your calloused super-thick skin!  Holy double-fuck!  You should have died, motherfucker!

The second possible response to the same situation is this:

Dear Mr. Retarded Dipshit Project Manager,

Thank you for informing me of your company's decision.  I was looking forward to working with your team, but I guess the circumstances aren't favorable.  Should you need my services in the future, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely yours.

P.S.  I own the approach, plan of action, and activities outlined in the proposal as intellectual property.  I sincerely hope that they will not be used by the consultant who you will be hiring.  Thank you.

Isn't this second response easier and more appropriate?  It's not hurtful nor derogatory.  Before you say something or write any letter, pause for a while.  It is useless to waste time and energy on such a situation where you can no longer modify the outcome.  Relax.  Clear your head.  Do not act so hastily.  Remember the cliche, "haste makes waste".  Things are already in the past.  It is therefore, time to "move on".  But before moving on, it is wise to let the "bridge" stand for a little longer.  Do not burn bridges.  You may someday use it to your advantage.

If a situation presented itself where you have to make a decision on whether to make an enemy or not, you should choose not to make one.  My experiences tell me that you will sleep better and live healthier without these emotional baggages constantly burdening you.  Life is too short to include and prolong unnecessary worries, anger, frustrations, and rejections.  Focus on good and happy things in your life rather than on how it is affected by people who should not and actually do not matter to you anyway.  Do you agree?

I hope I was able to give you an itsy bitsy teeny weeny spark of enlightenment… No?… Really?… Do you want me to kick you in the ass?  LOL!  Seriously, peace out

(Note:  the beautiful picture of the steam-powered locomotive is from Stream Train Trips -


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